I am struggling with my physical body.

I am 43, and I have been through both death and divorce, and I feel… disheartened.

I have always had to fight for a healthy body… most of us have to fight for good health.

But, lately… my fighting spirit has been on vacation or something?

I cannot seem to find her… where did she go?

As I started looking back at pictures tonight, from before getting remarried, and having my fifth baby… I felt a desire growing inside of me to start fighting for myself, my joy, and my physical body again.

I have felt so deflated, defeated, and even depressed sometimes.

Death was devastating… divorce was something completely different.

And now, I carry the weight of both.

But, I have had ENOUGH.

Enough already.

I am ready to start the fight again.

My fighting spirit is done with her vacation. It is time for her to come home and get to work.

I want to feel free and joy and energy again.

I am in worse shape now, than I was right after giving birth almost 3 years ago.

The stress from divorce, court, etc., annihilated my desire to make the same kind of daily effort that I normally make. It has been like my body wants a protective barrier around me, to keep me “safe.”

But I am sick of it.

And it is NOT protecting me, it is destroying me.

I want to smile again and FEEL happy again.

My body’s health has a lot to do with my spiritual happiness, because our bodies and spirits are intricately connected.

If I could fight to get to a healthy, happy place, after widowhood, I can do the same now after divorce.

I might be a little older, but I am still young.

I can do it.

Please pray for me… will you?

This time is different. It is tough. Harder.

The struggle is more real than ever.

I need all the love and support I can get.

I want my eyes and smile to sparkle again.

My family needs me to sparkle and really smile again.

Forward to feeling GOOD!

I am ready to reclaim my JOY!

Let’s do this thing. 🙂

*Some pics of joy and good health from before getting remarried. Oh man, I love my family, and miss having the older kiddos around all the time doing fun things together!