Category: Uncategorized

  • Painting my Guts Out.

    Painting my Guts Out.

    A few weeks ago, I went to my counselor. As we talked, she noticed that I am a very “visual” person. She thought it might help me to express some of my trapped emotions and feelings, through art. I have done a ton of writing (on my blog) to get…

  • Handling the Holidays

    Handling the Holidays

    The year of “firsts” after becoming a widow/er, can be SO hard. Birthdays, anniversaries, and especially… the holidays. I have been reflecting on my first Christmas as a widow, and after 9 years, all I have are sweet and beautiful memories, and precious feelings about that heart-heavy time. I know…

  • 24 Years as a van Ormer

    24 Years as a van Ormer

    I was once known as Mari Lindquist. And then I married Charles van Ormer, on December 4th, 1999. That is when Charles and I became “we.” That was the day our van Ormer family was created, and sealed together in the temple, for time and eternity… FOREVER! I spent 15…

  • To Create, or Not to Create…

    To Create, or Not to Create…

    I have learned that being creative is one of the best tools for healing a hurting heart. Years ago, I was really struggling after Charles died, and I decided to delve into new things and hobbies, like painting. My whole family got into it, and some of my most cherished…

  • It Matters

    It Matters

    A few weeks ago, my son Will told me to, “Slow down, take your time, and do Christmas right.” His simple request has had me considering how to approach this holiday season. My mind keeps circling back to the fact that… it MATTERS. Our memories, the holiday moments, the effort,…

  • Happy, Happy, Holidays!

    Happy, Happy, Holidays!

    We had a lovely week in Utah for Thanksgiving. The drive to Utah started out gorgeous, and incredibly foggy, for most of the way… When we got to Utah, we spent time with family, and had enormous amounts of food, and fun. We played a lot of silly games, arm-wrestled,…

  • Digging in Deep

    Digging in Deep

    I had my first session with a counselor today. I have been to a counselor before, but it is time to start fresh… and I feel ready to dig in deeper, at this point. I am ready for change. I am ready for healing. I am ready to let go.…

  • Where Do I Belong?

    Where Do I Belong?

    It can be hard to feel like I fit in sometimes. As a widow who is also divorced… I come with a lot of weird super-sized-emotional-baggage, wherever I go. I am not exactly the life of the party, with all of my heavy-hearted topics. For me, caskets and court-proceedings are…

  • Somewhere in my Memory

    Somewhere in my Memory

    Disneyland. Some of my most magical memories are trapped there. And my children’s memories are trapped there, too. It has been a place where our family has found joy and healing, when things have been hard. When it comes to Disneyland, I kind of feel like, you either feel it……

  • Goodbye, Autumn.

    Goodbye, Autumn.

    Autumn in Washington is AWESOME. This year seemed to be especially beautiful. The colors were very vivid, and crisp, and the air was warm and invigorating. We took a little trip with my parents over to Camano Island, on the other side of the state. We got to enjoy the…