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I believe when you really love someone, grieving for them never ends. At least not in this life. It has been more than 9 years since Charles died, but my heart aches for him like it was yesterday. The pain is not at the same magnitude as in the beginning, but the dull ache is ever present
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I feel like my experience with remarriage after being a lonely widow was a big tease. It was so close to something that could have been so good, but so bad that I could not stay in the marriage. And it broke my heart to have to make that confusing and complicated choice. Divorce. I
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I believe in miracles! I have written a lot about my regret, and even feeling it was a mistake to remarry who I chose, after feeling warnings in my widow-heart, while dating. But now, I want to write about this little miracle who came from the conflicting choice that I made. He is proof that
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(Written April 7, 2023.) I found this picture of me, from years after my first husband passed away, and right before I met my ex-husband. This shirt I think applies to me — that I should be careful or I will end up in a novel!! My life just keeps getting more and more bizarre
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I went to a counselor over a year ago. I expressed some of the challenges I had been going through after death and divorce. My counselor first asked me to talk about my feelings and emotions surrounding the challenges, and after a little emotional release, she then asked me, “So, tell me, what are your
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(Written August 5, 2023.) I was looking back at my blog, from before I got remarried. This picture was from that time, during a long uphill run. I was in such a good place at the time, in all the ways. I was physically, spiritually, and emotionally… healthy. I still struggled with grief and loneliness
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(Written October 5, 2023.) I have decided to do what so many have encouraged me to do. I am giving up on finding love again, and focusing fully on my family and my education/career. I wasn’t actively looking for love again — it is too soon after divorce — but I was open to it
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I was at church and I sat next to a lady that I love and respect. She asked me how I was doing, and I started whining about some hard life things… (everyone loves to sit next to a whiner, right?) I still whined. After some life-explaining, I said to her, “I just can’t do
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When I think of crying, I remember the sounds that my children made, when I told them that their father was dead. My husband died unexpectedly, of a Pulmonary Embolism, a blood clot, in his lungs. It was April first 2014. More than 9 years ago. He was on his way out to work in
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