I had my first session with a counselor today.

I have been to a counselor before, but it is time to start fresh… and I feel ready to dig in deeper, at this point.

I am ready for change.

I am ready for healing.

I am ready to let go.

In the past, some of my counseling experiences have been mediocre at best. I am not the kind of person who wants to have a counselor just sit and listen to me go on and on for hours… about everything. (My poor mom already fills that role, bless her soul forever.) From a counselor, I need real feedback, solutions, and help to resolve some things that I need assistance to figure out, that I simply can’t do on my own.

So, today, I had my first session via Telehealth (that works best for my schedule as a mom), and for the first while, my Internet connection was awful all day due to weather. It took a lot of time to get it back online. When it was resolved, I had about 10 minutes to talk about things. It was kind of a bummer.

However, because I only had 10 quick minutes, I ended up talking a very little bit, but I also ended up honing in on a core pain, that I have been holding onto, and not realizing it.

My counselor recognized it immediately, and asked if we might like to dig in deeper at the core pain, at our next meeting. I was shocked at her ability to see the place of pain, with so little time and information.

That was the FIRST time, I have ever had that happen with a counselor, and in just 10 minutes time!

I almost feel like having so little time made me focus and get to something important very quickly. (There are many issues I will need to work through, but today produced a fabulous place to start.)

I am so excited to work with my new counselor. She is a great fit for me.

I have felt this need to start looking at my life as a whole… and start letting things go, that are not good for me.

This has been difficult to do, and I have to take baby-steps in some areas of my life.

I believe as I begin letting go of things that drag me down, and weigh me down… then I will start to heal up, and rise up, to become more of the woman that I want to become.

As Elder Gerrit W Gong stated:

When trust is betrayed, dreams shattered, hearts broken and broken again, when we want justice and need mercy, when our fists clench and our tears flow, when we need to know what to hold onto and what to let go of, we can always remember Him. Life is not as cruel as it can sometimes seem. His infinite compassion can help us find our way, truth, and life.

I know that Jesus will walk this path with me, as I begin to be made aware of things that I need to let go of… and things I need to change.

Letting go… can be the first step to freedom.

I want to be free.