I am tired and battle-weary, but I keep moving forward.

For almost ten widowed years, I have been operating under the motto of “Cling to Courage.” I blogged about my life on clingtocourage.com, I wrote about widowhood, and my family… remarriage, divorce… and just whatever was on my mind at the time.

I have given firesides, talks, and keynotes about having courage through the trials of life.

But now, I am ready to operate under a different life motto…

Calm.

Be Still.

Peace.

TRUST in the Lord.

It is time for me to be calm.

To let go, and let God.

And be Still in the Storms of life.

I know it is not just me — it is the world — the fog of fear and confusion is rolling in thick, and the storms are coming to test even the most brave and faithful of heart.

Are you ready for what is coming?

It is going to get darker and more confusing… and the fast-paced social media influencer voices will scrape and claw at your faith and beliefs.

Don’t let the world deceive you with its provocative and persuasive pounding on your precious soul.

Listen to the Spirit.

Invite the Spirit into your life, by doing things that turn on the Light of the Lord.

Discern between light and darkness.

President Russell M. Nelson said:

“In the coming days, it will NOT BE POSSIBLE to SURVIVE spiritually without the guiding, directing, comforting, and constant influence of the Holy Ghost.”

That seems a pretty straightforward warning, from the Prophet.

I want to be better at discerning the Spirit in my life. This is something I am working on. It feels incredibly important, especially as a single mother, to be able to lead and guide my family, in these darkening latter-days.

Right now, I just feel like I have been through a brutal battle. I feel broken in strange out-of-place pieces, and I need a minute to sort out me, and put myself back together again.

Death and widowhood knocked the wind out of me, and divorce knocked the crap out of me.

Did I mention I am TIRED?

So exhausted from it all.

I kind of wish I could just disappear for a few years, hibernate, and come out a refreshed new creature full of life, light, and energy.

I have seriously considered it.

I could stop writing, stop sharing, and stop caring, and focus on healing inward.

But that is not what God wants me to do.

I have asked Him:

“Can I hide now?”

And He tells me:

“No, Mari. You cannot hide. SHINE your LIGHT, no matter what darkness you are going through.”

SHINE. SHARE. SPEAK.

DO NOT BE SILENT… or the darkness wins.

I am meant to use my hands to… WRITE.

So, here I still am.

Even if my light is just a flicker of flame on a melted, broken, cupcake-scented, candle…

I will share it.

I will try to stay calm and peaceful as the storms continue to come.

But, I am Scottish on both sides.

So… “calm” might look kind of like courage and boldness of speech, sometimes.

I am still me, after all. 😉