(Written August 5, 2023.)

I was looking back at my blog, from before I got remarried.

This picture was from that time, during a long uphill run. I was in such a good place at the time, in all the ways.

I was physically, spiritually, and emotionally… healthy.

I still struggled with grief and loneliness at the time, but I could run freely, and I was strong. I could smile and feel real joy, especially with my children.

It can feel kind of frustrating that a 3 year contentious marriage, and giving birth again at age 41 to my fifth child, and a devastating divorce… could all take such a toll on my body, not to mention my soul.

Before, and especially during the divorce process, it was like my light was being crushed out from inside of me. I was not designed to fight or deal with court battles. But I had to rise to the occasion. And I did.

I knew who I was — a Daughter of God — so that kept me afloat, barely.

My body took on the stress and fear and stored it, almost as a protective layer. Stress can really wreak havoc on the body. It took all my energy to endure that time. I could barely exercise, and food was definitely a comfort.

But now… that the divorce is final… I am finally starting to feel free again! I can breathe again… I am starting to recognize myself again.

I am becoming STRONG again.

I was recently given a Father’s blessing and I was told that I should focus on my strength, and become as strong as I possibly can. That has been a HUGE motivation for me to REMEMBER WHO I AM.

I am strong. I am powerful. I am GOOD. I am of infinite worth!

I am a daughter of God, and He loves me, and I love Him!

No human will ever take the love of God from me.

My light will shine again.

The Lord is my strength.